running 4/28

After a day off, today I ran just 1 lap again:

Tuesday: 1 lap | 7:42

They were a pretty painful seven minutes and forty-two seconds. My previous best time of 7:51 was tough enough – it was hard to imagine on Friday going much faster. But today, knowing that I had a couple runs under my belt since then, plus a full day of rest, it seemed reasonable to expect a quicker time. So I ran hard. I felt like I was grinding against my limit the entire time. I got off to a fast start, I felt stronger than ever going up the long uphill, but still I didn’t have any sense that I was going much faster. But I also worried that I was going too fast, and then I second-guessed myself for thinking that. Towards the end, I just wanted it to be over. Is that what it feels like to get better? I made it to the end, with a 9-second PR. I was glad to have beaten my time, but I think I’m done with this little project for now.

This last week was my first experience measuring my times without having any idea of how far I was running. I was hoping to somehow get to know my body more by not having any preconceived notion of what the “right” pace would be. I thought that by removing distance as a factor, while still measuring time, I’d get a better feeling for how I respond to relative distances.

I’m easily motivated by measurements. But I also don’t believe that’s a good way to look at life or to judge success.